Burgess Family of three...for now

A look into what we ordinarily do...sometimes not that ordinary.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Dating other people after marriage...

I was under the impression that once I got married I wouldn't be dating other people any more. I assumed that I had rid myself of being nervous over first dates, aqwerd tension over dinner, anxiety over being judged because I said too much or too little, judging the other person on what they did or didn't say, stressing over what to wear in fear of sending the wrong message, blah blah blah…

I was wrong.

Once I got married my world of dating other people simply shifted to a slightly different avenue. Now I had my husband to take on dates with me and instead of seeking out an eternal companion, we were on the search for a fellow married couple to hang out with.

Go figure.

Let me tell you, dating other couples is way harder than I thought. It’s almost impossible to find a couple that has a husband that my husband feels comfortable around, AND a wife that I feel comfortable around. It’s happened that we go hang out with a couple and once we get home I am all excited because I think I have just found my new best friend and I look over to get Clint’s approval and instead I am met with “eh, he’s kinda weird”…..or maybe more often than I’d like to admit, I am the one picking apart the wife. In either situation we end up having to decide whether we are going to give them a second chance date, or if we are convinced we just don’t mesh. All the while, I know that they are probably doing the same about us.

In the couples dating scene it’s been a rarity for us to find a couple who has EVERYTHING that we want in a fellow married couple….I mean we are talking a lot more complicated than single dating….we have to consider personality, geographic location, ages of kids, work schedules, hobbies, interests, occupations, past girlfriends/boyfriends, languages spoke, even their stance on controversial issues like rated R movies, plastic surgery, reality shows, and coffee ice cream, ….all of this on TWO PEOPLE!

Complicated…I know.

A few years back our friend Doug Neil got married to my best friend (Jacque)….at the time we didn’t know we were best friends but once we met it was obvious that it was meant to be! This couple hook up was a perfect match made in the pre-existence! It didn’t take long for us to start couple dating on a regular basis. Then, as if things couldn’t get any better… on Jac’s birthday last year we were introduced to another couple they were dating, the Collards. We discovered we had the same kind of dog and then just hit it off from there. Who would’ve thought that stinky Scooter and Isaac would be the key? Pretty soon they had us hooked on The Office, and things have just gotten better from there.
Since our initial date with the Collards, the Neils have abandoned ship. Doug was sent to do his Air Force training in TX and Jacque being the supportive wife that she is went with him. I miss the days when we all six got to hang out. But seriously am so grateful that we have been so blessed to have such great friends! Clint and I randomly will say things like “the Collards are so cool, aren’t they?” or “Man! Why did the Neils have to leave?”
With that being said, here are some pics of some of our dates...


  1. Hear hear!! You said it perfectly! Of course, it helps that we have this conversation about once a month. :) You guys are so rad and one day, we'll all be rich enough to hang out whenever we want!

  2. I TOTALLY agree and couldn't have said it better myself :) You two (almost three) should move to NYC so we could date.. It'd be a match made in couple heaven!!

  3. That's Halarious and sooo true! I've never thought of it in those terms until now! Bryce and I are so busy that we don't get to date much but we sure are looking! =P

  4. PERFECTLY written... man, I'm speechless. You have NOOOOOOOOOOOO idea how much we miss the White Mexi-Jo clan! =)

  5. It's WAY hard to find couple friends. Eric and I still haven't quite found perfect people to date. Good luck with baby.

  6. Ha ha, that is so true. You have said it well and perfect. Now, as we all know, I'm not married but it is so hard for Armando and me to find couple friends that we both like. We have friends that have couples but its not like we are bFF, there is always a problem one side. So I feel you, the only thing is we haven't found someone. It even gets better because we said the other day, "Man, I wish we had a cool couple friend that we hang out with, you know like Ceci and Clint with Kolbe and Tawnya"! Seriously, we said that!

    Well, I will just sit here Jealous...one day